our second month was 4 days ago.
i pretended i forgot. but instead, that morning, i gave your friend this silver heart shaped box.
with 62 folded hearts, 31 green, 31 red. to signify the number of days weve been together.
i wrote you a letter two pages long.
i included everything. how i fell for you, how i feel for you,
my insecurities, my doubts, my everything.
you told me you'll miss me when im off the USA.
i gave you stamps, just in case.
and i spammed my perfume..
mainly to make you go crazy.
i know it turns you on as much as your Anna Suis Forbidden Affair makes my body react in a million different ways.

your friend told you you were in the baddest of mood that morning, because i didnt wish you
i felt like a jerk. but she told me you were the happiest kid on earth after you got it.
that was enough to make me feel good.
the only thing i wish i couldve seen.. was that smile on your face.

I dont see you enough. Once in two weeks... it kills me.
I make time. you > everything else.
but to you.. everything else >me. golf tennis dad tennis mates classmates schoolmates.
you dont know how hard it is to be so far apart.
when you live barely 7 minutes from where i reside.

i remember thinking to myself that ill never ever think of fucking you.
but my friend told me "trust me, it comes naturally"
guess shes right.
but i beg you not to give it to me.
no matter how much we both want to.
im not ready.
what im afraid is, if it somehow happens with you, ill lose interest.
i probably wont, i know i wont... but its a risk im not ready to take. not yet.

but damn girl.. you turn me on.